


Darcy Lewis, Queen of Hearts...and also Midgard.

by leftennant



Series: Tasertricks Oneshot 'Verse [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Grand Theft, Humor, Thorin the cat is a little shit, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-12
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-05-19 23:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5983627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftennant/pseuds/leftennant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki misses a holiday, and makes up for it in style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Lewis, Queen of Hearts...and also Midgard.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Taterfarm. You guys know who you are, and I love you all. <3
> 
> ******************************************

There was a cat in his face, A very large, very loud, very persistent cat. Loki sighed. He had not foreseen the potential annoyance in store for him when he procured the creatures for Darcy. As kittens Thorin and Thief were fairly charming, but as full grown Asgardian cats...well… Yes. Loki regretted his decision. He was actually starting to miss Harold. At least he could command the monkey to steal Thor’s helmet. For some reason the damn cats loved his moronic brother with a reverence Loki couldn’t even comprehend. 

The God of Mischief attempted to dislodge the feline invader with a rather impatient swipe of his arm to no avail. Thorin just purred all the more volubly, and turned around to knead Loki’s chest without even noticing he was unwanted. Loki gritted his teeth. Wearing a cat on his head was one thing, being confronted by the less attractive end of said cat first thing the morning was utterly unacceptable. 

“Darcy,” he hissed, shaking the sleeping girl next to him. “Wake up. You need to call off this beast. He will not obey me.”

“No. Fix your own cat problems,” she mumbled. 

“If I fix the problem, we will own one less cat,” he responded. “Is that truly what you wish?”

“What I wish,” Darcy said, opening her eyes just enough to glare at him, “is to not be woken up at five in the morning by six foot, two inch god who can’t figure out how to get a cat off the bed. You and Thorin need to talk this shit out without dragging me into it.”

“Very funny.”

“Mmmmph.”

Loki’s jaw dropped. “Are you going back to sleep?”

“Yes. Because normal people do that at five am when they have nowhere else to be.”

“Vexatious mortal.”

“Vexatious immortal,” she replied. “I drank the apple juice, remember? You were there.”

“It was not apple juice, it was a highly sophisticated potion distilled from the fruits of Iðunn’s tree, which I created myself....” he began.

“That tasted just like apple juice,” she interrupted. “Which reminds me, it’s Valentine’s Day.”

“What?”

“Today. Is. Valentine’s Day.”

“What does that have to do with the apple juice?” Loki asked, brow furrowing in puzzlement.

“Ha. I told you it was apple juice,” she said smugly.

“If you desire to survive this little tête-à-tête, I would suggest you desist speaking now.” A few moments passed while his curiosity increased. Finally, he broke down and said, “What does the potion have to do with Valentine’s Day?”

A small smile played around her lips. “Am I supposed to shut up, or answer your question?”

“I did call you vexatious, did I not?”

“Right. Sooo, I’m answering the question then?”

“Indeed.” 

“It’s because you did the whole potion thing on Valentine’s Day last year, only you didn’t know it since we were in Asgard. You guys only celebrate weird holidays, like Thurseblot or whatever.”

“I assure you, I absolutely do _not_ celebrate Thurseblot,” Loki informed her. 

Something occurred to him then. Valentine’s Day was one of the Earth holidays that held romantic import, and he had missed it. Darcy had said nothing of it, but she may have been hurt. He sat up, disturbing Thorin who yowled grumpily, and finally gave up his spot on the bed.

“Darcy, were you disappointed that we did not celebrate your Earth holiday?”

“You made me immortal. I’m pretty sure that’s a decent Valentine’s Day gift for any girl.” She sat up as well, tugging the blankets over her magnificent chest as she did so. Loki couldn’t help the disappointment that flickered through his gaze, and Darcy immediately laughed. “You never change, do you?” 

“Not on the aspect of finding you breathtaking, no,” he said to her. 

“Now that’s the kind of talk that will get a man laid,” she replied.

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Will it also get a god laid?”

“You mean the god who forgot Valentine’s Day two years running?”

“I did not forget. I was simply unaware,” he countered.

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Yes. Because that make it so much better. You’re lucky I give exactly zero shits about this holiday. By the way, your gift is in your nightstand drawer.”

“You got me a gift? What is it?”

“I don’t know,” she said dryly. “Why not open the drawer and see?”

He did so, and found a carefully folded pile of cloth. Loki shook it out to discover that it was a cashmere scarf in varying shades of green. Worked into the fabric at either end was a dreadful mess of golden stitching that he assumed were meant to be a serpents. 

“Did you apply the…” He paused, unsure if they were, in fact, serpents or not. One appeared to have ears.

“Snakes? Yeah. It’s supposed to Jörmungandr. I’m pretty sure that embroidery is not my calling, but he’s on your armor, so I thought you'd like him in a scarf.”

“I love it,” he said, turning the fabric over in his hands. Loki felt truly remiss. Regardless of Darcy insisting that she didn’t take issue with his behavior, he decided it could not stand. He thought for a moment, trying to decide the best way to make reparations. A solution occurred to him, and he immediately rectified the situation. “Your gift is in the living room.”

“I have a gift?”

“Yes.”

“In the living room?”

“I believe I just said that.”

Darcy promptly hopped out of bed and exited the room. Loki followed behind, fully enjoying her distinct lack of clothing. She got halfway across the living room before stopping dead in her tracks. 

“Loki?”

“Hmm?” He was a bit preoccupied with admiring the view.

“Is that the Imperial State Crown? Like...the one they keep in the Tower in London? On our coffee table?”

“Do you like it?” 

She turned around to stare at him. Loki normally would have noticed that she seemed rather perturbed, however, as she was also still gloriously undressed, he was quite busy noticing other things.

“You stole part of the Crown Jewels for me?”

“No. I conjured part of the Crown Jewels for you. Put it on, and come back to bed.”

“Um, here’s the thing with that, Loki. I’m pretty sure England is going to notice their Imperial Crown is missing,” Darcy said. “It’s kind of a big deal.”

“Yes, but there is no reason for anyone to suspect we have it,” he answered.

“I…” She stopped. Looked at the crown. Looked at him. Looked at the crown again. “Okay, weirdly enough, that’s a valid point.”

“I do tend to have those from time to time,” Loki said. “Shall I crown you?”

He could literally see her internal mental war playing out on her face. However, if there was one thing that Loki knew, it was Darcy. He was already working the spell to conjure the next item before she even asked. A long, ermine trimmed cloak appeared on the couch, and she started to smile.

“Yeah, okay. Crown me, and then we’re definitely going back to bed.”

Loki placed the cloak around her shoulders, set the crown upon her head, and declared, “I officially proclaim you Queen Darcy of Midgard.”

“I love how that sounds,” she said. 

“Mmm. Me too,” he replied. “Tell me, are there any official first acts you’d like to commit as reigning sovereign of Midgard?”

“Yep. Fornication. Let’s go do this thing, loyal subject.”

The lengthy train of the cloak trailed after her as she marched back to their bedroom. Loki wasted no time conjuring a barrier between them and the cats, and retraced his steps back to their bed, and his queen.


End file.
